You’re not dreaming, if you’re not dreaming Big.

One of my goals this year is to share and give more. I like to say I’m good at lending a hand here and there and listening. I will always be there for anyone who needs a shoulder to cry on, who needs a hug, or who needs to vent, or who wants to have a simple conversation.

I’ve been feeling helpless the past few years, watching people that I care for so much in my life come and go and continuously spiral out of control. To be honest, its torn me apart. I want to start feeling like I am impacting peoples lives for the better. I’ve been following one of my idols in Olympic Weightlifting Hidilyn Diaz. She represents the Philippines and is in the women’s 53kg class. She is a two time Olympian, the 2015 Asian Champion, and the Southeast Asian Champion. I posted a video from Youtube of my inspiration lifting numbers that even guys can’t dream of!



Hidilyn’s (Haidie’s) work with the younger kids in perfecting their technique, turning them into champions, and being a role model to the young hopefuls is noting but inspiring. I want to do the same. I want to give back and make people happy and proud of themselves. Self image is so important. It can truly determine which path you take in life.

Check out this young girl’s technique. It is absolutely beautiful!


These kids have the coach to get them to where they want to go, but they will also need the gear to get them going. There is a link below of Haidie’s instagram.


Some of you may ask why? These kids are on the other side of the world etc… We as a first world country are equipped with so much to enable and foster environments of physical and mental growth for kids. Many nations struggle to acquire and to maintain this. If we have the ability to create positive impact, then why not? If we have the ability to enable the growth of future world champions, then why not? If we have the ability to share and display empathy and sympathy, then why not. This is how we grow as individuals and to create a positive footprint for ourselves.


I consider this a big dream of mine. I want to help out in any way I can and send gear over to these brilliant and talented kids. I will be creating a GoFundMe page (with much more information) to see what we as a general public can come up with to contribute to the kids success. Olympic Weightlifting shoes, lifting straps, belts, and even plates, and maybe some bars are what I would like to hopefully send to Haidie’s kids in the Philippines. I’ve been telling myself lately, you aren’t dreaming at all, if you’re not dreaming big! #BeautifulTough


I’m not weird, I’m just an Introvert

Mexico City

Mexico City

I consider myself an introvert. A severe introvert! I have social skills but will avoid social situations at all costs. It’s not because I find them uninteresting or don’t want to join in on the fun, it is that my anxiety level can and will go up. Public speaking, performing (Olympic Weightlifting competitions), or large crowds make me feel very uncomfortable. I don’t enjoy small talk. I’m horrible at it! The other day I got off the bus six stops before my normal stop just so I wouldn’t have to engage in a conversation with the bus driver. Oh and did I mention it was pouring rain! I sometimes get a good a laugh at situations like these because it really is silly. I live in a world where to be honest, I am most happy being by myself. My closer friends understand and are accepting of who I am, but for my newer social circle it can be hard to explain this.

This is an issue I am working on. This was the initial reason why I started to participate in Crossfit and Olympic Weightlifting Competitions. Building confidence on and off the court is a life process. Believing and knowing that you have plenty of things to offer yourself, friends and the world is a scary idea. It scares me shitless! Ideas such as, what if I say something stupid, what if I don’t give a good enough answer, what if I don’t ask the right questions, what if I don’t look interested in the conversation and a million other concerns flood my mind. I just get stressed and say, “fuck it, maybe next time.”

I have not problem hanging out with animals haha

I have no problem hanging out with animals haha (Mexico City)

Driving in my new car

Driving in my new car (Los Angeles)

Like I said, I am working on this. I have had people mention to me that they could never guess I was nervous or horrible at small talk. Those are BIG milestones for me. Yay! I love everyone and appreciate everyone in my life that accept me for who I am. For this, I know they have accepted my weaknesses and see the best out of me. And because of this, I know I am doing something right. #BeautifulTough

Prepping for Game Day.

Competing can be one the most scary yet exhilarating experiences. Whether you are winning or losing, the adrenaline mirrors the high that drug users experience. If you want your high then compete! There is no better way to feel accomplished than throwing 110% of your heart on to the floor.

I’ve done many local Crossfit competitions and a few Olympic Lifting competitions now and feel like I can share with you the process of what it takes to physically and mentally prepare yourself to perform at your maximal potential.

I’m to assume that people register for competitions knowing that it is at least one month away. It’s good to give yourself time to work on your weaknesses. One of my major weaknesses in Crossfit are wall balls. I’m only 5’0 tall and the target I have to hit is at ten feet. I am technically doing a jumping air squat with a 14lb medicine ball which creates a lot more output energy than someone who just has to not do a jumping air squat. Spend at least 15 minutes every day if not, every other day working on that movement. You don’t need to spend hours on it every day, as you only defeat the process of increasing muscle memory and strength. You can do an EMOM (every minute on the minute) or E2MOM (Every 2 minute on the minute), you get the idea to gain more practice in the movement.

For Olympic Lifting my major weakness is my mental game. I’ve hit my lifts so many times in training but tend to miss them on the platform. Just before I’m about to walk onto the platform to perform my lift, my palms are sweaty, I’m shaking and my heart feels like its beating a million times a minute. It is really bad for me. I’ve always had a fear of public speaking or being in large groups, and performing on stage. I posted a Youtube video of me at an Olympic Lifting competition from a few weeks ago above. I was so nervous before that lift that my coach had to take me outside and calm me down. He did not tell me how much I was going to lift. It helped! Further explaination as to my coach not revealing my lifting numbers is mentioned below.

To tackle this issue, mental preparation before and during competition is a must. There will always be politics, drama, people asking you questions, people trying to start conversations with you before you’re about to hit the floor. I strongly suggest to avoid that. Take your foam roller, put your headphones on, and focus on the movements you are about to do. When picturing yourself performing the lifts/movements that cause anxiousness and or anxiety, practice controlling your breathing and focus on the movement. If you keep doing this over time the anxiety will decrease or completely cease.

My coach is currently giving me my weeks worth of programming without the numbers. When I see bigger numbers that I am supposed to lift I tend to get worked up in my head and miss those lifts. I’m enjoying this. This also shows that my coach understands my biggest weakness and is devoted to working on them. Another important factor to prepping for ‘game day’ is nutrition. It is extremely important to have your body fueled for game day. Here is a link from ‘Boxlife’ detailing the importance of nutrition before competitions.

What I’m saying is yes, work on your physical weaknesses, but you are not going to all of a sudden become a master at what you “suck” at before a competition. To compensate for that, start thinking and picturing yourself performing movements beautifully. Guaranteed you will surprise yourself and do better than you thought you would have. #BeautifulTough

Why I lift.

I love the feeling of feeling and being strong. Nothing feels more empowering than picking up heavy weights and throwing them over your head. It feels surreal. Growing up I sneered at people that were into fitness. Picking up a dumbbell or barbell was the last thing I ever thought I would do.

Growing up as a dancer, the mentality of having a small, petite, elegant looking frame was what a girl/woman should look like. I admired the Olsen Twins for their emaciated figures. I always wanted to look that thin as I thought that was what dancers looked and should look like. There were some days I would just eat an apple and a drink cups of black coffee to maintain a petite frame. Unfortunately (luckily now) I never got to that physique. To be honest, I loved food too much. I always looked healthy and for the most part was healthy. 

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I knew that ballet wasn’t for me and could not see myself pursuing this as a career. After ballet, I lived a sedentary lifestyle. I smoked cigarettes, took ephedrines, worked graveyard shifts while going to University full-time and lived a very unhealthy and unsafe lifestyle overall for about five years. When I moved to Vancouver that’s when things changed. There really is a different vibe here. People seem healthier, look healthier, and probably are healthier. It took a year of convincing for me to join Crossfit. I was still snickering at healthy people. The very first intro session I did, I was hooked and haven’t looked back. 

I always thought Crossfit was to be honest a “big girl” sport. Being only 5″0 tall and weighing 110lbs I thought it was impossible. Wrong!! Through consistent training and dedication to this sport I have proven to myself that I can be in the same category as the top girls in my gym. 

I have so much appreciation to be lifting with such strong women. I am inspired every time I hit the gym. Being a smaller person and lifting the same weights as my friends I realized that competitive Olympic Weightlifting would better suit me. I have taken it seriously for the past six months or so. I love the technicality of this sport. I consider myself to be somewhat of a perfectionist. This is what makes if fun. Perfecting lifts that can never reach perfection. Being a perfectionist nothing is ever perfect. The process in obtaining perfection is what I like. 

These next few months are going to be so much fun. I’m trying to qualify for Nationals. I know if I don’t qualify this year I will definitely qualify next year. Cannot wait. Working hard to hopefully qualify for a spot on my Crossfit team for Regionals next year. The process of succeeding and being great at your sport takes hard work, dedication, and the desire to win. I surround myself with people who share the same goals everyday. That in itself is another drive that pushes me to best I can be. #BeautifulTough